Dear Faint of Heart

Lately I have felt as if I have been pruned down to nothing. I sat confused yesterday under the preaching of God’s word wondering why the Lord had taken so much away. And yet, I can believe the tempter’s deception that because much has changed that now I have nothing to give.

Maybe you have felt that way before, too?

Its true, I don’t have much to give. I am at one of the lowest points in my life begging God for answers. And while I have often felt as if my voice has been stripped from me, Satan has not won that battle. God has given me a voice with which I can still speak.

I wish I could offer more than my words to you. As I look around and see parents who have lost children and friends who have had relatives murdered, my pain feels small. We can be tempted to compare both blessings and suffering and think “What place do I have to speak?”

I don’t know your pain. I have fumbled all over the place trying to walk with people through their pain over the years. I don’t know what its like to live in a war-torn country. I haven’t had to steal food to survive.

But because of that, I have often at times neglected to mourn over my own struggles, difficulties and hardships and find those who could mourn with me.

We do live in a cursed world, and to look around and deny it would be foolish. When I sit and wrestle with all that has been stripped from my life lately, I can offer you the same hope and encouragement I have found.

When it feels like I have nothing else, I am not alone. I serve a God who upholds me in my sorrow. He is a steady rock when all else changes. He holds my tears in a bottle. He hides me in the shelter of his wings. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is gentle and patient though I don’t deserve it.

As I face trials in my life I do not understand, I know he sees all and rules. When I feel crushed by pain, I can remember that compared with eternity this pain is a light and momentary affliction. When I don’t know who I can trust, I can still hold on to his promises and his word.

I wish that today I could step in and lift you from whatever pain you are facing, as I hope also that I will be lifted from mine. As I come to terms with how often I am incapable of doing what I would like to do for others, I can still point you to the God who upholds me in my time of trouble.

“Though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.”

This is My Father’s World

Maltbie Babcock

My faint heart

Is not enough

This shattered soul

Is not an offering

My mind is fragmented

Here it is

My strength

Is feeble and frail

Here I am Lord

If you can use me

That is truly a testament

That Jesus Christ is Lord

Who also has the power to resurrect the dead.

Speechless

The wordsmith loses her words

What can I say?

Children packed in cribs

Their memories haunt me

I am powerless

The child behind the door

Another orphan checks her pulse

It’s faint

Who is there to care for them?

Leaders display power

Leaders?

There must be some other word

The people cry out in the streets

Gunfire

The smell of feces and urine overwhelm

In shacks and sheds

Starving

Men and women have no room

For more mouths

Governments fight

Still no policy prevents this

You, O Lord, are our only hope!

Have mercy, Father

Too Much

I sat there

My heart laid bare

My life story told

Not even in entirety

No one said a word

Out of the silence

I received no comfort

The only voice

Came from inside, saying,

“Your pain is too much for them”

I learned to take my grief

To the Man of Sorrows

Who bore my grief

Catches my tears in bottle

And wipes them away

My pain is not too much for Him

This is Love

She reads him a story

He picks her a dandelion

He naps on her shoulder

As she pushes the cart

She wants to protect him

From the pain of this world

He grows and offers

To protect her

The fifth time that night

She holds crying toddler

Lays by her side

Soothes her to sleep

Small moments each day

Given to each other

From the life giving well

Of the one who loves them